Stupid Alpha Male
by Ardialene
Summary: No matter how many times Booth denies it, Brennan knows that her partner is a true alpha male. And she has evidence to prove it.
1. Behavior

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. If I did, Booth and Brennan would have gotten together in the fifth season at the end of _The Parts of the Sum of the Whole_. Because I _really_ wanted to murder Brennan then.

**BEHAVIOR**

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_Behavior – The alpha male introduces himself so that other find themselves unable to challenge his authority. They way he walks, the way he stands, and the way he communicates shows that he is in control of himself as a smart and strong male._

Brennan glared up at the Sherriff of Hopeless, Arizona. He was overweight and tall, balding and pale. And his attitude was setting her teeth on edge. "I want you and your people out of the crime scene!" Brennan snapped. "You are destroying evidence!"

"Now see here, Missy." The sheriff answered, his drawl and word choice dripping with condescension. "I've been doing my job longer than you've been alive. I promise, we won't miss a single thing."

"I told you to leave." Brennan barked. "You and your men have compromised my crime scene enough with your ineptitude."

The sheriff straightened, and Brennan mentally catalogued it as a subconscious intimidation technique, like a peacock that spread its plumage. "I can't say I like your tone there, young lady." He drawled. "Now, this crime scene ain't no place for a lady. Why don't you head back to your fancy lab in D.C. while we take care of the mess here."

Brennan saw red. "I am a world renowned forensic anthropologist! I have seen genocides in Rwanda, mass graves in Nicaragua, and hurricane victims in New Orleans. I have been kidnapped by guerillas, attacked by bandits, nearly killed by poachers and looters, and I have killed people. How dare you tell me where I can go and what I can handle, you arrogant-"

"Bones!" She stopped in midsentence and turned to see Booth casually entering the crime scene. He flashed a smile at the sheriff and casually placed a hand at Brennan's back. "What are you doing over here?" Brennan let him guide her away from the sheriff and to the center of the crime scene. "The body's over this way, and it's a weird one! It's dressed up like a samurai."

"I wouldn't know." Brennan growled as Booth and she passed the deputies surrounding the body. "The sheriff wouldn't let me near the victim."

"Now wait just a damn minute!" The sheriff shouted. "Who the hell're you?"

Booth turned and smiled that charm smile of his. "Special Agent Seeley Booth, FBI. This is my partner, Dr. Temperance Brennan of the Jeffersonian Institute in D.C."

"I've already met your lady scientist." The sheriff snorted. "And I told her, this ain't no place for a lady!"

Brennan started to turn, but Booth's hand at her back prevented her. "Dr. Brennan is instrumental to every case we work. Her expertise is invaluable to our work, and she knows exactly what needs to be done."

"The body's barely more'n bones." The sheriff argued. "And my boys have been doing their jobs long enough to know what's what."

"But Dr. Brennan needs things from a crime scene that other people wouldn't." Booth soothed. "I'm sure that your people do their job just fine, but I need Dr. Brennan here so we can get the things she'll need to do her job well."

For a few seconds, the sheriff was silent. Then he harrumphed and waved to his deputies. "Alright boys, let's let these feds deal with this thing. Let the fancy scientist lady do her thing, and we'll get back to our business."

Brennan glared at each of the sheriff's men as they left, internally fuming. She'd asked them politely to leave and let her do her work. She'd presented rational arguments, logic, and facts. She'd been completely ignored. Then Booth comes along and repeats what's she's already said, and they listen to him.

"Bones?" She looked over at him, and saw the concern on his face that she'd seen so many times before. "Bones, you aren't letting them get to you, right? It's not like they know anything, after all." Brennan stared at him for a second, registering the way his eyes darted around. Then he grinned as his eyes lighted on the body. "Now, are you coming? We've got a body here. A samurai, remember?"

Ah, so he'd been looking for something to distract her from the sheriff's attitude. She couldn't help but send him a grateful smile before moving over to the remains. As she bent over the body and quickly made a few observations, a few things clicked in her head. She frowned at the realization, and she couldn't help but feel indignant when she realized why the sheriff had backed off. With a frustrated look at Booth, she managed to remember not to speak too loudly.

"Stupid alpha male."


	2. Body Language

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. If I did, there would be alot more Booth/Brennan fluffiness going on. Example: "The Intern in the Incinerator" They're just so **_CUTE!_**

**BODY LANGUAGE**

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_Body Language – Most alpha males are often physically fit, with an air of indisputable confidence and courage. Everything he does is deliberate._

Brennan watched as Booth spoke to the college wrestler currently in the ring, probably loosening him up for a more involved talk about their victim. She tuned out their speech, since she never had and never would understand sports, and instead watched their body language, Booth relaxed and open and the college wrestler slowly loosening up as they continued with such a familiar topic. Then suddenly Booth tensed, and Brennan was jolted back to the conversation. The wrestler was laughing, and Booth's smile had become strained.

"It hasn't been that long since I was last in the ring." Booth said, his light voice a contradiction to the tension in his body.

"Sorry old man." The boy said easily, his smile tinged with mocking. "Just saying, if you get up here, you're going to end up in the hospital for a bad back. The ring isn't a place for someone who gets hurt that easily."

Brennan blinked, realizing why Booth was so tense. Trying to do damage control, she quickly jumped into the conversation. "You really shouldn't try to challenge Booth. He exhibits traits indicative of a hunter pathology, and in ancient time would have been considered the-"

"I have no idea what you just said." The wrestler interrupted. "But if he needs a woman to fight his battles, then he's obviously no threat."

Brennan's eyes went wide at the insult, and Booth's eyes flashed. "Alright then, why don't we see for ourselves just whose the better man?"

The wrestler smirked and moved over to the other side so Booth could climb up. "Booth, I really don't think this is a good idea." She whispered as Booth took off his jacket and gun. "You haven't wrestled in years, and that case with the midget wrestler doesn't count. And even if you win, you could cause some serious trouble for your back!"

Booth looked at her, and she could see something like hurt in his eyes. "What, you don't think I can win?"

"That's not the point." She whispered urgently. "There's no point in getting hurt for some stupid male pride."

Booth's face went hard, and Brennan just stared at him while he loosened his dress shirt sleeves and removed his dress shoes so he could move easier. From across the ring, the wrestler laugh mockingly. "Looks like your lady friend doesn't have much faith in you, Geezer."

Brennan eyes flashed to the wrestler and then to Booth, whose jaw had tightened dangerously. Brennan let out a sigh, then carefully picked up Booth's things. "You really shouldn't leave these lying around." She said calmly as she smoothed out the jacket and laid it over her arm. "And for the record, just because I consider the possibility of harm does not mean I do not believe you can win. You male pride may make you want to humiliate your challenger as much as possible." She picked up his gun and his badge and turned to look him in the eyes. "I have your gun. Don't take too long."

Booth stared at her, then grinned widely. "I'll try not to draw it out too long, Bones." Still grinning, he hauled himself up into the ring. "Ready when you are." He said calmly, flashing him a smirk as he set himself into a stance.

The match only lasted five minutes, and by the end the wrestler was pinned in a hold that Brennan could swear was not actually a wrestling move. "Now that we understand things." Booth said jovially as he increased pressure on the young wrestler's neck. "Why don't you tell me everything you know about Garrett Harrisen?"

The wrestler reluctantly gave them information, and he left as soon as Booth released him from the hold. He turned to look at Brennan, and she recognized the pleading look in his eyes. "Bones!" He whined. "I think I hurt my back again." Brennan let out an exasperated sigh, but still climbed into the ring to help her friend.

"Stupid alpha male."


	3. Agression and Assertiveness

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. If I did, Parker would show up a lot more. Because let's face it, the kid's _**ADORABLE**_!

**AGGRESSIONS AND ASSERTIVENESS**

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_Aggression and Assertiveness – An alpha male is charismatic and sociable. Instead of being a passive observer, the alpha male involves himself in what is going on around him. He communicates in a clear, calm, concise manner._

It was a common occurrence for Temperance Brennan to segregated and displaced among the company of others. Even with those she considered her family, there were times when she felt like an outsider looking in.

This time was no different.

". . . and then Kara started to cry. So I went right up to Harry and told him that he was being a buttface and that only cowards make girls cry." Parker babbled. "And Harry got _really_ mad. Then he tried to push me, but I got out of the way before he got a chance. And I helped Kara to the bathroom so she could wash her face."

"Good job, Bud!" Booth answered, grinning widely. "That's the way to act."

Brennan continued to silently eat her salad, just vaguely listening in on the conversation. Weren't parents supposed to discourage fighting? She distinctly remembered her mother lecturing Russ when he'd gotten into a fight. Of course, her father had given Russ this proud little look, so maybe there was some exception for fathers and fights.

"What do you think, Bones?"

Brennan jolted back to the conversation and saw two very similar pairs of deep brown eyes staring at her. She mentally reviewed the conversation and realized that they wanted her opinion. "While rescuing the girl will help to establish a pattern of behavior whereby she learns to let others defend her, your actions were chivalrous and commendable."

Parker blinked at her, then tentatively grinned. "That's good, right?"

"That's good, buddy." Booth was quick to reassure his son. He nudged Brennan, giving her one of his _I Need Subtitles_ looks. Brennan shook her head and tried to think of a way to dumb it down.

She thought for a second, then turned to Parker. "You acted very much like a medieval knight."

Parker's grin grew. "That's definitely good!"

Brennan smiled back. "Actually, I believe you acted better than a knight." At the boy's confused look, Brennan elaborated. "In the Middle Ages, the knight would have rescued the damsel, but he would also have expected payment of some sort and he would have most likely tried to fight the bad guy. You did not expect anything in return for saving your friend, and you didn't resort to fighting. You should be very proud of yourself."

Parker's grin glowed. "Thanks Dr. Bones!"

Brennan felt Booth's gaze, and she turned to see a matching smile on his face. As Parker busied himself with his milkshake, he leaned over. "And you said you don't like kids."

Brennan started, then realized that she didn't feel so isolated anymore. She shook her head as Parker began to babble again.

"Stupid alpha male."


	4. Courage

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. If I did, Brennan would have told Booth about Hank's contribution to his abandonment already. Because I _really_ want to hear how that turned out!

**COURAGE**

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_Courage – Without a doubt, the alpha male is courageous, meaning he is willing to take on any problem to reach resolution without worry. He will do whatever it takes to solve the problem with the best possible outcome for all involved._

Booth and Brennan had just been hanging out, enjoying a beer together after an unusually easy case. They had been joking about how stupid the killer had been when Booth's phone rang. He answered it with a smile, but that smile soon faded from his face. Something crossed his face that Brennan had never seen before, something that she didn't even have a name for. After a few more minutes, Booth hung up the phone and stood frozen. Then, after a minute or two, he went to the fridge and pulled out two six packs of beer. He brought them over to the table and slumped onto his couch. They sat in silence for an impossibly long time before Booth reached over and opened two beers. He put one in front of Brennan and gripped the other tightly in his hands. He said only three words, but they were enough for Brennan to understand everything far too well.

"Pops is dead."

Brennan didn't know what to say to make it better, or if it was even possible to make it better. Booth chugged down his beer, dropping the empty can on the table and reaching for the next before Brennan was even halfway done. She'd never seen Booth drunk before, and wasn't sure if she actually wanted to, but they were in his home, and she more than anyone knew what it meant to lose the people who defined your life. So she finished her beer and waited as Booth emptied a second can and reached for a third.

After a time, Brennan finally spoke. "Hank wanted me to tell you something."

Booth looked at Brennan incredulously. "When did you talk to Pops?"

"The first time we met." Brennan answered. "He told me a secret, and he said that I should tell you when the time was right. He said I would know when to tell you."

"And now is the best time?"

Brennan paused, then nodded slowly. "When my parents disappeared and Russ left, I was put into foster care. I remember thinking that every time my family told me that they loved me was a lie, because they left me anyway. I would have given anything to know, without a doubt, that they did love me." She looked down at the beer in her hand. "While the situations are not the same, I imagine that it would be a comfort to know the fact that Hank loved you."

Booth stared at her for a long moment, then slowly nodded. Brennan took a deep breath. "Hank said that he never had the nerve to tell you that it was his fault your father left." Booth jerked back, but Brennan kept going. "He said that if he were a better man, he would have figured something else out. But when he saw your father hitting you, his grandson, he didn't know what else to do. He told your father, 'Get out. You don't deserve to be a father. Get out.' When your father didn't come back, Hank took care of you and Jared instead."

Booth stared down at his drink. "He. . . got rid of my dad?"

Brennan nodded, suddenly unsure that it really was the right time. "He said that he loved you. That he was more proud of you than anybody in the world. And he really wished that he could have found another way. But his son was beating his grandson. That was something that he couldn't let happen." Tentatively, she reached out to take Booth's hand. "I think that you and Hank are very much alike. He wanted to protect you, and so he did what he had to do. Even though he thought that you would hate him."

Booth gripped Brennan's hand hard, and Brennan saw that his other hand was shaking. She leaned over and pulled him close, squeezing him tightly. She held him as tears slipped down his face, as his shoulders shook, and as he eventually fell asleep. Then she gently laid him out on the couch and cleaned up the mess they'd made. She placed a blanket from his bed around him, and hesitated, wondering if she would be overstepping if she stayed for the night. But one look at the man in front of her, and she pushed that anxious voice aside. She took one of his blankets from the couch and settled herself in a chair.

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Brennan woke up to the smell of bacon and coffee. She tried to roll over and bumped into something hard. Grumbling, she opened her eyes and blinked at an armrest. As her sleepy brain realized that she was not in her bed, she jolted upright. After a moment, she relaxed, recognizing Booth's apartment. A moment more and she remembered the night before. Sounds from the kitchen told her that Booth was up and awake, which probably meant that it was seven or eight in the morning.

Booth entered his living room and grinned when he saw her. "Morning, Bones!" He put a mug of coffee in front of her, and she took it gratefully. "It's not your fancy coffee, but it'll do the job."

Brennan chugged down a good quarter of it before taking a breath, waiting for the caffeine to do its job before she spoke. "Are you alright?" She asked tentatively.

Booth's smile faded, and Brennan instantly regretted asking. "I'm upset." He said, sitting down with his own mug. "And I'm angry that I won't get to see him anymore. But I'm going to be okay." He looked over at her, and Brennan was relieved to see a small smile on his face. "You were right to tell me, Bones. And knowing that helps more than you know." He took her hand and gripped it tightly. "Thank you. For telling me. For helping. And thank you for staying."

Brennan smiled at him and squeezed his hand back. "Though I know that it is what is called a 'party line,' it is the truth. Please tell me what I can do to help you. You are my partner. I want to help."

Booth smiled for a moment before it faded again. "I have to go to the nursing home to arrange all the. . ." He stuttered, then shook his head and pushed forward. "All the funeral details. Will you come with me and help?" Brennan nodded, and Booth smiled back before getting up. "I'll get dressed, and then we'll swing by your place so you can get ready. I'm sure you don't want to walk around in day-old clothes."

Brennan watched him go, and she couldn't help but be in awe. She knew that Booth must be hurting, and remembered quite well that the first morning she woke up with the knowledge that her family was gone, she had curled up and refused to move. That Booth could manage to still be himself, and to keep moving forward, was an act that she couldn't help but admire and worry over. She shook her head at the realization that he was most likely compartmentalizing until the emotions wouldn't interfere with what had to be done.

"Stupid alpha male."


	5. Persistence

Disclaimer: I do not own Bones. If I did, the Gravedigger would be rotting in jail instead of rotting in a grave. Although there is something poetic about it.

**PERSISTENCE  
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_Persistence – An alpha male works hard to achieve his goals, whether they be business goals, family goals, friendship goals, or relationship goals. He gets the job done, not with aggression or manipulation, but by using his position of control and his concentration._

"Two slices of pie, please!" Booth asked the waitress when she came to take their plates away.

"Booth, it's not healthy to eat so many fats and sugars." Brennan chided. "You should try something healthier, like a bowl of fruit."

"I'm not going to eat both of them, Bones." Booth answered with a wide grin. "One of them is for you."

"I don't eat pie." Brennan retorted.

"But you haven't had _this_ pie." Booth answered good naturedly. "This pie is magical!"

"Magic is nothing more than the explanation of primitive peoples to describe events beyond their comprehension." Brennan answered automatically, her rant interrupted as her phone rang. "And I don't like my fruit cooked." She added.

Booth rolled her eyes as she spoke with Angela about their current case, and Brennan was only vaguely aware of the waitress's exit. By the time she hung up, a smile decorated her face. "Angela's identified our victim. It's Robert Brady, a chemical engineer for Ubiqua Pharmaceuticals. She's e-mailing you the missing person's report now." Brennan grabbed her bag and started to stand, but Booth hadn't moved. "Booth?"

"Here you are, Agent Booth." The waitress exclaimed as she returned. "Two slices of pie."

Brennan looked over at Booth with a glare. "I don't like my fruit cooked."

"Come on, Bones. Pie!" Booth insisted.

"No." Brennan answered. "We have a case to work."

"The case will still be there in five minutes when you finish your pie." Booth grabbed a fork and quickly ate a piece of his slice. "God, this stuff is fantastic." He moaned, hastily taking another piece. Brennan just continued glaring at him. He sighed as he finished his second bite. "Bones, we're not leaving until you try some pie." He grinned at her mischievously. "You don't have any choice."

"Why would that be?" Brennan demanded.

Booth reached into his pocket and jangled the keys in her face. "Because I'm your ride, and I'm not going anywhere until you try pie."

"That's blackmail!" Brennan exclaimed.

"No, it's negotiation." Booth shot back. He lifted up the second plate of pie and held up to Brennan's face. "It's calling to you, Bones. 'Eat me! Eat me!'" Brennan glared, and Booth sighed in return. "Take one bite. If you don't like it, then we'll go." He wheedled.

Brennan glared, then sighed and lifted a fork. "I do so under extreme protest." She muttered, ignoring Booth's triumphant grin. She stabbed the pie and carefully took a bite, shuddering in expectation of cooked apples. Instead, she was greeted with chocolate. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she quickly took another piece. _Chocolate Pudding Pie_!

"Told you so!" Brennan's head jerked back to Booth, who was smugly pulling on his jacket. "_Now_ we can go."

Brennan stared after him as Booth paid their bill and headed to the door.

"Stupid alpha male!"


	6. Leadership

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. If I did, Angela and Hodgins wouldn't have taken _5 SEASONS!_ to get married. And the whole "You baby could be blind" things would never have happened.

**LEADERSHIP**

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_Leadership – When an alpha male takes charge, he does so in a way that no one questions whether or not he belongs. No one will challenge him because he delegates authority depending on ability and brings people together to perform to their maximum potential._

When they arrived, Brennan surveyed the scene from the safety of Booth's car. Chaos reigned as rescue workers ran to and fro, trying to control the blaze that was striving to engulf the entire apartment complex. Sirens and screams filled the air as Brennan opened her car door in time with Booth.

She spotted a group of tents and hurried over to what she assumed was the command center. The center tent had several maps and diagrams, and from the timber of the voices, Brennan could tell she was in the right place.

". . . your lack of security!"

"My security did their jobs! You're the one who let a _terrorist_ move in here!"

"How ridiculous! The planning committee should know better than to put so many gaslines in one place!"

"You're the one who didn't secure the plans of the complex!"

"I'm not the one who let ten tons of explosives into the compound!"

"_**HEY!**_"

All discussion stopped at the sudden shout, and Brennan turned to see an exasperated Booth had entered the tent. "Special Agent Seeley Booth, this is Doctor Temperance Brennan of the Jeffersonian Institute." Brennan noted that his voice was calm and measured, avoiding the higher tone and hurried speech of the others around him. "What do you we got?" Immediately, everyone tried to get in a few words. "_**HEY!**_" Booth shouted again, silencing those around him. He pointed at the man closest to him. "Occupation."

"Housing Manager."

"You in charge of who buys the houses." The man nodded, and Booth jerked a hand behind him. "Get me your files on the residents. I want everything you have on them." The man immediately nodded, and Booth moved on to the next person. "Occupation."

"Head of Security."

"You are going to sit down and write every possible way that someone could have brought explosives into this complex." Booth ordered. "Even the least likely possibilities."

He continued with this, giving each person a job to. Brennan watched as the tension in the room abated, with any internal disputes quickly dismissed by Booth's swift action. By the time the fire had been extinguished and the firemen had left, everyone was working quickly, quietly, and efficiently.

"Alright, Bones!" Booth called, putting a hand on the small of her back and guiding her from the tent. "Let's get you to your bodies."

Brennan could only shake her head as they left the tent behind.

"Stupid alpha male."


	7. Independence

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. If I did, Zach would never have been involved with Gormogon. I still mourn for my favorite squintern!

**INDEPENDENCE**

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_Independence – Alpha males don't depend on the world. They move at their own pace, they do what they think is right to do without a backward glance. They move forward no matter what obstacles come their way, and they deal with them one by one._

Brennan stared as their FBI contact spoke to the two Italian Intelligence operatives. Booth grumbled beside her, annoyed at being left out of the conversation. Their current case had coincided with a joint Interpol/AISI (Agenzia Informazioni e Sicurezza Interna) investigation, leading them to the compound of a group of terrorists. The FBI agent discussed their course of action before coming over to Booth and Brennan.

"The Italians have made their recommendations clear, and I'm in agreement. We're going to bring in a bomb." The FBI agent told them.

"What!" Booth shouted. "There's _kids _down there. You can't just blow it all up!"

"Unfortunately, there's no other way to safely eliminate the terrorist cell." The agent answered with a nonchalant shrug. "They shouldn't have brought their kids to their hiding place."

"You can't kill _children_!" Brennan protested.

"They are casualties of war." The agent answered. "Collateral damage."

Brennan saw red. "How dare you, you-"

Booth's hand grabbed her arm, and she whirled to see a calm cross Booth's face. "Very well. You do what you think is best."

"But Booth-"

"I'm glad you see reason, Agent Booth." The agent turned and walked away, pulling out a cell phone as he went.

As soon as he was out of ear shot, Brennan whirled on Booth. "What are you planning?"

"I'm not planning anything." Booth answered, heading for the truck they'd arrived in. "What would make you think that I have anything planned?"

Brennan glared at him, then shook her head. "Booth." She grabbed his arm and forced him to look at her. Silently, she prayed she was showing a correct amount of fear and worry. "Just be careful." Booth looked at her, then slowly nodded. She nodded back before heading straight for the AISI agents. "_Brutos! (Brutes)_" She shouted in Spanish. "_Su madre fue una cucaracha con la cabeza de una pulga! Su virilidad es como un pequeño lombriz!__ (Your mother was a cockroach with the head of a flea! Your manhood is like a small worm!)_"

The two Italian operatives turned to her with eyes flashing. "_Siamo italiani! Non Spagnolo! __(We are Italian! Not Spanish!)_" They shouted. "_Voi siete altro che un idiota Americano bigotto!__ (You are nothing but an idiot American bigot!)_"

"_Ir a casa a sus madres, los niños pequeños!__ (Go home to your mothers, little boys!)_" Brennan yelled back, focusing all attention on herself. "_No__son dignos de__ni siquiera un segundo__de mi tiempo! __(You aren't worthy of even a second of my time__!)_"

Brennan kept egging the men around her on, switching languages every so often just to annoy the two Italians. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Booth sauntered back into camp. "Hey!" He shouted, gaining the attention of everyone who heard. He held up a rope, to which was attached several adults, most of which Brennan recognized from the Interpol file about the cell of terrorists. "They surrendered! You can call off the bomb now!"

The FBI agent stared in shock as Booth guided the terrorist group over to the truck, followed by a group of kids who looked at Booth as if he were the Prophet Mohammad resurrected. As Brennan watched the two Italians shout at one another, and the FBI agent work himself into a state trying to stop the dropping of the bomb, she couldn't help but smile as her partner started a game with the children he'd saved.

"Stupid alpha male."


	8. Territorial

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. If I did, there would be more episodes before Booth arrested Max in "Stargazer in a Puddle." I wanted to see more of Brennan treading the line between breaking the law and not, like in "The Killer in the Concrete."

**TERRITORIAL**

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_Territorial – An alpha male's territory is their sacred ground, but he does not guard it with his presence. He is relaxed about intruders but stands firm that it is his place, not his guests, and will have no problem showing another that they are trespassing. He will not relinquish his control until he is ready to leave, and any attempts to dethrone him will fail._

When Brennan entered Booth's office, he was facing the wall behind his desk. "Booth, I refuse to participate in this." She said firmly. "Just because I prefer to spend my weekends at the lab working does not mean that anything I do then is less important than anything I would do during the day. You do not have the authority to make decisions like this for me, and just because _you_ think that some FBI cold case from forty years ago is more important doesn't mean you can-"

"Dr. Brennan, right?" Brennan froze in midsentence as Booth's chair turned and revealed a blonde pudgy man dressed in a shiny black suit that looked absolutely awful. "I'm Special Agent Howard Percancy. I will be the FBI liaison for the Jeffersonian."

Brennan stared at the agent, then shook her head. "That is Booth's job."

"Maybe, but not for long." Agent Percancy said easily, a smirk on his face. "But I have several friends in the upper echelon of the FBI. They wouldn't have any problem with getting me the position. You should work on that cold case I sent you, get on my good side. Maybe I'll let you leave the lab once in a while."

"I only work with Booth." Brennan snapped. "You should leave his office, before he gets back and finds you here."

Agent Percancy stood and walked around the desk, moving to stand within inches of Brennan. She resisted the urge to step back from the challenge and put some space between them, even as a part of her screamed to put this man in his place for trying to intimidate her. "You really should be more polite. I'm going to be your boss pretty soon, and you wouldn't want to disappoint me-"

"Bones!" Brennan turned and couldn't help a silent sigh of relief as Booth entered the room. "Hey, what's up? We didn't have plans, did we?" Booth put a hand at Brennan's back and pushed her towards his desk, ignoring Agent Percancy. "Or did you just miss me?"

Brennan rolled her eyes. "I came to return a case file. I have more valuable things to do than investigate a cold case."

Booth frowned. "A cold case? I didn't send that to you."

"I sent it to her." Brennan refused to look at Agent Percancy as he sauntered over to Booth's desk. "I thought it would be best to get acquainted with her before I was transferred to the DC office."

Brennan watched Booth's reaction, and was surprised when Booth smiled. "That's a great idea. Agent Percancy, right? Nice initiative. I'm sure you'll be a great addition to the White Collar Division."

Agent Percancy blinked as Booth settled himself in his chair. "White Collar?" He asked uncertainly.

"Yeah, they need guys who know how to take initiative over there." Booth answered, his grin widening. "I would be happy to recommend you for the position. I know a guy who's in charge of one of the white collar units: Peter Burke. I'm sure he'd be happy to take on someone who doesn't need to be babysat twenty-four seven."

"Actually, Agent Booth, that won't be necessary." Percancy cut in. "I already know where I want to go, so I suggest you-"

"Oh, it's really no trouble!" Booth interjected, speaking over Percancy as he stood from his chair. He kept smiling as he guided Percancy to the door, not giving him a chance to protest. "I'm sure he'd _love_ to have you. It was great meeting you and all, but I'm afraid that Dr. Brennan gets irritable when she's ignored. We'll have to save our chat for another time. So long!" With that he pushed Percancy out the door and quickly shut it behind him.

Brennan's fists clenched as Booth walked back to his desk. "He claims that his connections are going to get him your job." She told him.

Booth shook his head. "Cullen won't put someone that green in homicide. Nah, I'll talk to Peter and Cullen, get him transferred to White Collar. He seems like an ambitious kid, and White Collar's where you get all the recognition. He'll do better there." He looked over at Brennan and grinned. "Come on, you don't think I'd let anyone take my spot, do you? We're partners."

Brennan couldn't help but smile back as Booth leaned back and started talking about his upcoming weekend with Parker. She shook her head as he spoke, amused despite herself.

"Stupid alpha male."


	9. Protective

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. If I did, Booth and Brennan would already have a baby because Booth wouldn't have had that brain tumor, so he would have donated his sperm so Brennan could have a baby in "The Critic in the Cabernet."

**PROTECTIVE**

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_Protective – An alpha male forms a "pack" of family and friends. When that pack is threatened, the alpha male will do anything to protect them, no matter what the cost to himself._

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"

Brennan rolled her eyes at the seventeenth repetition of Booth's question. "Yes, Booth. I am sure that I do not require your assistance to ride a plane."

Booth just smiled his famous smile. "I'm not so sure. I mean look at your history. The last time you left the country, you disappeared into Indonesia for four months. And the time before that, there was a murder on the plane to China. And before that, you were in New Orleans as the prime suspect in a murder investigation. You and going away without me nearly always turns out bad." Booth saw an open spot right in front of the main doors and pulled in, grinning at his good luck. He glanced over at Bones as he carefully parked the giant SUV. "You know, I have _a lot_of vacation time built up. And besides, you're a national resource. I don't think anyone would mind if I tagged along with you."

Brennan turned to her partner. "I appreciate that you were willing to drive me to the airport, Booth. But I will only be gone for a week. The El Zuma dig will be an interesting and worthwhile endeavor. I will be looking over some of the skeletons they found in order to verify their hypotheses. I will be brought to the site by armed guard, protected by said armed guard, and then returned by armed guard. I doubt I will be alone for more than a few moments." Her eyes narrowed slightly as an important fact rang in her head. "Besides, you will have Parker visiting you this weekend. You should not disappoint him."

Booth shook his head as she got out of the car to grab her bags from the back. "Just promise me you'll be careful."

"I am always careful." Brennan answered as she closed the back door.

Booth grabbed her hand and she looked up, startled. "I mean it, Bones. If I don't get a call from you every three hours, I'm getting on a plane and dragging you back to DC."

Brennan was going to tell him exactly where he could shove that sentiment, but the pensive expression on his face held her back. He was honestly worried that something was going to happen to her. She sighed and shook her head. It was pleasant knowing that he worried for her, even if it did annoy her at times. "As I said, I am always careful. However, I will endeavor to maintain a greater sense of awareness while on my own."

Booth smiled as Brennan lifted her bags from the curb. "Thanks, Bones." He grinned his usual cocky grin as she slammed the door shut. "And don't forget to call!"

Brennan returned the smile and tentatively leaned into the car to embrace her friend. "Good-bye, Booth." She said. "Try not to get shot."

Booth laughed as he started the car. "Same to you! Remember, every three hours!"

As he pulled away, Brennan shook her head at his overprotective behavior. She had taken care of herself for twenty years before she'd met Booth, and yet he acted as if she couldn't go a day without his guardianship. But she was unashamed to admit that it warmed her to be so cared for.

"Stupid alpha male."


	10. Mothering

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. If I did, Booth and Brennan would have gotten together in the fifth season at the end of _The Parts of the Sum of the Whole_. Because I _really_ wanted to murder Brennan then.

**MOTHERING**

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_Mothering: When it comes to a member of their pack, an alpha male has a tendency to look over the member almost to the point of excess. Once they have found a weakness, they will strive to compensate for it in order to ensure the well being of their pack member._

Angela bobbed her head along as she answered her phone, which was blasting out "Breathe" by Ryan Star, the personal ringtone of one Very Special Agent Seeley Booth. "What's up, Studley?"

"Hey Angela. I was hoping you could do me a favor." Angela rolled her eyes at the wheedling tone in his voice. "I wouldn't bother you, but Bones is working on a paper for one of those scientific journals she likes to read so much. You know she gets tunnel vision when she does these kind of things, and it's time for her lunch break."

Angela couldn't help but smile. "And you want me to look in on her and make sure she eats?"

"Please and thank you?" Booth asked.

Angela rolled her eyes. "I'll check in, but I doubt she'll listen to me."

She hung up and headed out the door, shaking her head when she saw Brennan still at her desk staring at her computer screen. After sending Booth a quick text to let him know, she knocked on Brennan's door. "Knock, knock!"

Brennan blinked and turned to the doorway. "Angela, are you alright?"

"I should be asking you that. When was the last time you took a break?" Angela asked.

"I'm just fine, Angela." Brennan answered.

"Sweetie, have you even eaten?"

"I'll eat in a while. There's just some things I want to fin-" Whatever else Brennan was going to say was cut off when her phone rang. She pressed the speaker phone button, obviously avoiding Angela's questions. "Dr. Temperance Brennan."

"Good afternoon, Dr. Temperance Brennan." Booth's voice flooded the room, and Angela couldn't hold back a grin. "This is Special Agent Seeley Booth speaking. Can I talk to Bones?"

"You are talking to me." Brennan answered, that adorable puzzled expression on her face.

Angela could nearly hear Booth's eyeroll. "Have you had lunch yet?"

Brennan scowled. "When I eat is none of your concern, Booth."

"That's a no." Booth's voice was amused. "That's great, because I just reach lunch myself! I'll be there in fifteen minutes to pick you up. We'll hit the diner!"

"Booth, that's not-" But the line had already gone dead. Angela saw the frustration on Brennan's face, and wisely chose to quietly back out of Brennan's office. But Brennan's final words nearly made her laugh out loud.

"Stupid Alpha Male!"


	11. Cenophobic

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. If I did, Season 7 would already be airing.

**CENOPHOBIC**

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_Cenophobic: Alpha males are wary of new things. They like consistency, and things that disrupt that consistency must be studied and tested before being accepted into the alpha's routine._

Brennan watched as Booth fiddled with his brand new phone. His old one had "accidentally" been blown up in Hodgins's last experiment after the young heir had went on yet another rant about government conspiracies and the agenda of politicians. So now he had a new, up to date phone, and had been playing with it for nearly fifteen minutes now.

Finally, Booth let out a frustrated growl and threw the phone down on the table. Brennan glared. "Booth, you're going to break your brand new phone."

"I hate this thing." Booth snapped. "None of the buttons do what they're supposed to, I've lost half my numbers, there's no photos of Parker on here. It's not my phone!"

Brennan rolled her eyes. "Booth, this phone is better and more up to date than your previous one. It is a simple enough matter to reprogram your phone to your previously selected settings."

"But I had pictures on that phone!" Booth complained. "And there were some really good ones on there too." Brennan shook her head and lifted his phone from the table, only half listening as she played with his phone. "And I keep using speed dial, but the phone isn't set up for it. I've accidentally hung up on Rebecca twice, and believe me when I say that that woman does _not_ like it when you hang up on her. And I sent Cam a text that was supposed to go to Jared, so she thought I was asking her to dinner when I wasn't. And then the stupid thing butt dialed my boss while I was in the gym, and he thinks I called him during-" He cut himself off and cleared his throat. "I'm going to _kill_ those squints. Doesn't Hodgins realize that _I have a gun_?" Brennan continued to ignore him, and after a few more minutes of rambling, he finally noticed. "Hey, Bones. What are you doing with my phone?"

Brennan smirked, and pushed his phone over to him. Booth picked it up and stared at it in confusion. "Hey, that's the scores from the game yesterday!" He pushed a few buttons, and a small grin grew on his face. "And there's the after game commentary. And the stats."

"It is the NHL App." Brennan answered. "Only available on your new phone. I have contacted Angela, and she is in the process of pulling all your contact information and pictures from your previous phone and sending them to your new one. I have downloaded an email app, a video app, an NFL app, and an app that gives simple instructions to how each aspect of the phone works." Booth looked up at her, then back down at his phone. His smile widened as he played a bit more with the phone. "I have also reset the phone to lock after it has been idle for more than ten seconds. The password is 9954. I have also downloaded a few more popular apps, called 'Angry Birds' and 'Touch Hockey: FS25.'"

"Gah!" Brennan jerked at Booth's sudden exclamation. "Stupid egg stealers. Take this!" There were a few beeps and then Booth let out a whoop. "Alright! I rule at this."

"Booth, are you listening to me?" Brennan asked.

"What was that?" Booth asked distractedly.

Brennan rolled her eyes in response.

"Stupid Alpha Male!"


	12. A Lack of Shiny Baubles

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. If I did, poor Mr. Nigel-Murray wouldn't have been killed by that stupid sniper dude!

_The quote from the article is an adapted version of Bones's speech at the end of one of my favorite episodes, "The Con Man in the Meth Lab."_

_)\_\o/_ _)\_\o/_ _)\_\o/_ _)\_\o/_ _)\_ _)\_\o/_ _)\_\o/_ _)\_\o/_ _)\_\o/_ _)\_ _)\_\o/_ _)\_\o/_ _)\_\o/_ _)\_\o/_ _)\_ _)\_\o/_ _)\_\o/_ _)\_\o/_ _)\_\o/_

**A LACK OF SHINY BAUBLES  
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"Thank you, Dr. Brennan." Booth's eyes shot open incredulously at the condescending tone Dr. Richards used when speaking to Brennan. "But I think we'll get some more varied opinion on that before making a final decision."

Brennan's eyes went wide, and her hand fisted tightly, but she nodded. "That would be the logical thing to do. Thank you for your time, Dr. Richards."

Cam stepped forward and offered the curator of the British National Museum her hand. "As always it has been a pleasure working with the BNM, Dr. Richards."

The scientist warmed immediately and shook Cam's hand. "Yes, it has been, Dr. Saroyan."

Brennan started to move forward, but Dr. Richards turned away abruptly, following after the seven thousand year old remains from Africa that Brennan had been asked several months ago to validate. She'd spent months poring over the stupid thing, ranting about every find she'd made on the body, and she'd been clearly torn every time Booth brought a murder for her to solve. It hadn't been the first time she'd been asked to deal with such old remains, and usually the person who asked would be flattering her at every turn. But this man seemed to dismiss Brennan as if her opinion was unimportant.

"Booth?"

"Yeah." Booth answered, snapping his attention to Brennan. "Are you done with the old geezer yet?"

Brennan frowned. "You should have more respect for Dr. Richards, Booth. He's a very famous conservationist, one of the most respected members of his field."

The disapproval in her voice was clear, even after the very blatant snub the man had given her. Booth frowned, but didn't comment. "So Bones, ready for some real work?" He dangled a file in front of her. "It's a _really_ good one. I bet even you're going to have trouble with it."

Brennan scowled and snatched the file from his hands and started to read, but one of the interns on the platform called her over. With a sigh, she handed the file back. "I will be back in a minute. Try to entertain yourself without breaking the Jeffersonian."

Booth almost stuck his tongue out, but knowing what Brennan would say at that kind of outburst made him stop. He settled for a glare at her back as she stalked away. But as soon as she was out of sight, Booth looked over at Cam. "Alright, what was all that about?"

Cam looked at him innocently. "What was all what about?"

"You know perfectly well what." Booth snapped. "That guy blew Bones off like she was a grad student instead of the best forensic anthropologist in the world. What was his problem?"

Cam looked wearily over at Brennan's office. "Last month, one of Dr. Brennan's papers was published in _Cultural Anthropology_, pretty much the anthropologists' version of Sports Illustrated. There's been a lot of criticism over it, and a lot of the more conservative anthropologists have gone out of their way to thoroughly debunk it. Dr. Brennan's been ridiculed about that paper, and her reputation as an anthropologist has taken a huge hit. You know that dig in Mumbai she was planning on going to? They called and asked her not to come because someone else said yes."

Booth's mouth dropped. "What was that paper about? And why am I only hearing about this now?"

Cam's eyes shot over to Brennan's office again before she reached a hand into her giant purse. "Dr. Brennan asked us not to say anything to you, because she was sure you would over react. And if anyone asks, you didn't get this from me." She pulled out a magazine from her purse, and handed it to him. "I've earmarked the page. Most of it will probably go over your head, but really it's the title and the last paragraph that you really need to see."

Booth's only response was to blast her with what several now ex-girlfriends had called his "charm smile.". "Thanks, Cam." Cam only shook her head and rolled her eyes as he immediately flipped the magazine open and began to read.

Booth wasn't sure whether to laugh or groan at the title of Brennan's paper: _Alpha Males in Twenty-first Century Culture_. He settled for a half smile and a head shake before moving on to the rest of the article. Booth ignored Cam's warning about the terminology going over his head, though he should have known better after spending so many years with Bones. After only a few sentences, he couldn't make heads or tails of what she was saying. He roughed through a couple more sentences before finally giving up and flipping through the pages until he reached the last page of her essay.

"_Traditional anthropology has taught us that the alpha male is the man wearing the crown, displaying the most colorful plumage and the shiniest baubles. He stands out from the others. But after careful observation, I have come to believe that the twenty-first century has differed from this traditional definition of an alpha male. In this day and age, when both material goods and a person's own moral guidelines are the basis for a person's status, I've come to realize that the quiet man, the invisible man, the man who is always there for friends and family, that's the real alpha male. The shiny bauble which would have once attracted mates from miles away still fascinate for a time, but they are no longer a suitable guideline for choosing a leader. We have evolved beyond our need of them."_

"_Author: Dr. Temperance Brennan. Special thanks to Seeley Booth_."

Booth stared at the magazine in shock. This last paragraph sounded nearly identical to the speech Bones had once made for him, after the failure of the RICO case. She'd written an entire paper based on _him_?

"Booth?" Brennan's voice jerked Booth from his thoughts. "What are you looking at?"

Booth quickly opened to a random page and turned. "Just looking at the pretty pictures and trying to figure out the words. Why can't you people just speak English instead of your squinty mumbo jumbo?"

Brennan quickly snatched the magazine from his hands. "Just because your own limited vocabulary cannot understand what is written does not make these writing any less a part of the English language." She snapped. "You shouldn't be looking through other people's belongings, Booth."

"Why?" Booth asked, playing innocent as he put a hand on the small of her back and guided her out of the lab. "Afraid I'll find something interesting and decide to pursue a career in anthropology, Bones?" Brennan raised an eyebrow at him, and Booth grinned. "Alright, so maybe the idea is a bit farfetched. But just think, we could take the anthropology world by storm. Look out, pompous scholars! Booth and Brennan are out to turn your world upside down."

Brennan's serious expression dissipated into a laugh at Booth's antics, and Booth couldn't help the growing smile on his face as she said his new favorite three words:

"Stupid alpha male."


End file.
